How do we help young people to address life’s uncertainties? Recently I spoke to a group of teens in the Netherlands about handling challenges and planning for the future amidst the ongoing COVID pandemic. Their main concerns were ongoing school and university closures, changes in summer and work plans, their inability to travel and to see family and friends. Also, how best to navigate transitions, decrease global warming, and support black lives matters. According to this piece, resilience is the ability to ‘bounce back’ during or after difficult times. It is also the ability to adapt to difficult circumstances that you cannot change and keep on thriving. When a teen is resilient, they are more prepared to seek new ways to overcome challenges and achieve their goals. Although this means taking some risks, it also creates opportunities for success. Here are a few tips from my forthcoming book Raising Global Teens for helping teens to build resilience:
Have conversations Difficult times are a part of life. This phase may just take longer than your teen would like. You can help teens by keeping things in perspective and focusing on facts and reality. Also, by discussing how you or others you know have gone through tough times. Regardless, take the time to check in and see how they are coping.
Do goal setting Uncertainty can increase feelings of vulnerability and anxiety. Goal setting provides a sense of control and security. Help teens develop long-term goals, then encourage them to work out the short-term goals they need to take to achieve them. In my discussion with teens on staying motivated and handling uncertainty, I encourage them to establish a few short goals in different categories such as personal life, school or work and health/wellbeing over the next 3, 6 and 12 months. I also encourage them to share these goals with an accountability partner such as a friend or family member and discuss goals periodically.
Encourage problem solving Encourage your teen to think about how to tackle problems rather than solving it for them. Some questions to consider asking: What are some ways to handle this issue? Who can help you address it in your circle or community? What additional support or information do you need to move forward? When you get them to think about solving the problem, you are giving them the ability to cope with what comes their way.
Accept change Many situations such as travel restrictions and closures of school or universities can’t be changed. However, many folks find they have developed strengths and abilities and got to know themselves better after they have gone through some crisis. The pandemic can be an opportunity for transformation. Help teens to view change as a chance to alter the future, not the end of the world as they know it!
Get Help Developing resilience is a journey. If your teen is stuck or overwhelmed, you may want to consider talking to someone who can help, such as a psychologist or other mental health professional.
Bottom line: When teens are resilient, they ‘bounce back’ from life’s challenges. This is a skill a teen can develop. Key aspects of building resilience include encouraging a sense of self-control by getting teens to do goal setting and using challenges as an opportunity for growth.